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Hello, dear readers.

This must sound  like its going to be a strange post. And indeed I did get the idea in a strange manner. I googled to find something for inspiration on what to blog about (had bloggers block UGH!!!) and I ended up with an idea for a series of posts (hoping that works out ) and for this blog. You might be wondering how a website of all things could ruin a relationship. Well, read on….I am going to expose a huge fault of mine.

As my long time (LOL 3 months=long time) readers know, I’ve been dating a wonderful guy, BC, since February. He ended up with a job in Kuwait, so now I am struggling with how far apart we are and never being able to see him in the flesh. My brillant self has found away to make this even harder on me. And I am sure some people in close distance relationships probably have done the same thing.

I would find myself obsessively checking his Facebook page to see what he’d been up to. No, it wasn’t quite stalking…but it didn’t miss by much. This habit started right after he flew out. Sometimes his Facebook updates were all I would catch because of time differences and neither of us having net at home. I’d have to actually go to his profile because there were times I’d miss things in my feed because I have a lot of what I call Mafia friends…those I added solely to expand my “friends” in this game application on there. Anyway, I had a busy busy feed. I started seeing things I should never have seen.

There is a friend on his page who I will call KE. KE is his exgirl friend from upteen years ago. She still flirts hard…but (from almost-stalking her page) I found out that she’s like that with a lot of people to some extent. I kept seeing her calling him things like lover, and so forth. I saw her invite him to stop off in her state on his way to Kuwait..lots of things I would have never seen if I’d not been hitting his page WAY too often, even after we got more constant communication going.

Needless to say, my insecure self got jealous as HELL. We’ve had two conversations about her. The first he told me who she was and a bit about her. This last one (as you may have seen in a post from last week) he told me that he’d not be interested in her LIKE THAT without saying it quite that way.

So…through my own insecurity and the openness of Facebook pages, I nearly ruined a damned good thing. Jealousy will corrupt the deepest love, insecurity will cause one to question what the do know, and spying on your loved ones is just not a very nice thing to do. If I could do it all again, I don’t know if I would change a thing. I learned to not worry so much about the little things with BC. That he’s honest to a fault and really does care very much for me. I learned about myself and am hoping I am actually turning those lessons into positive changes in how I act and react.

I don’t think I’d change anything to tell the truth. Going through this has helped me feel more secure with BC (if he isn’t interested in someone who looks like she does…yah, I can bet what we have is based on all sorts of not physical attractions and that is what lasts). Have you let finding out things about your love in ways that are a bit questionable come in between you or change how you act towards them? I’d love to hear more stories..I’d hate to think I was the only one to ever make this silly, silly blunder!

Hopefully if you’ve never done such a thing, you will  use my blunder to learn from just in case you are ever tempted to make the same blunder! Hope you all have a great evening.

Blessed Be.

Gurl

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